Great Ex-pectations

You’re fighting all the time, you/he cheated, you’ve fallen out of love; whatever the reason, you and the person you thought you would marry have split up. You move out and never hear from him again.

But yeah nah, actually, you will become a certified psycho for several months. You’ll stalk each and every one of his social media accounts (seriously, snapchat? Bring back best friends ya jerk). You’ll spy on his recently added friends on Facebook while maintaining a very cool online presence. All photos of you must look amazing and ten points to Griffindor if that guy he was always a bit jealous of likes your pic (because let’s face it, he’s stalking you too).


You’ll text him every now and then to see if he has found that belonging of yours that you really need and remind him that he still owes you money for your last water bill. You’ll stay besties with his mum and ‘like’ his friends posts on Facebook-not because you actually enjoyed their post but it’s vital that you remain in his world.

I’ve been that girl, I get it. Making the decision to separate is only half the battle. The other half is about genuinely
letting go. And you have to. The other option will only break your heart. You know he will find someone else and trust me, you don’t want to be around when he does. She’ll be prettier than you, have perkier boobs than you and will appear to make him happier than you ever did. It’ll hurt like hell and yet, it’s actually none of your business anymore. You loved him once, remember? Doesn’t he deserve to be happy, even if it’s without you? Because guess what! The moment you open yourself up to releasing him, you get the chance to find out what makes YOU happy.


Look, if your joy is found in stalking his new lady friends cousins sister-in-law then by all means, go for it! But if authentic happiness to you means freedom, new experiences and the possibility of real love…let him go. He was a lesson, nothing more. If you can’t stop the stalk, time to make use of your block button. Your heart will thank you for it.

P.s. When you inevitably ignore this very mature advice, remember to switch to your fake profile whilst stalking. No one deserves to feel the absolute terror of an accidental like.

Liv Loveless

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