Mr Divorcee

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Welcome to my very first ‘non-Tinder’ date. One of my girlfriends finally stepped up to the plate and offered a male friend as sacrifice for the slaughter.

Mr Divorcee was 34, recently separated from his wife and had an 18 month old baby. He was also ridiculously gorgeous which is why I chose to ignore all red flags that were flapping wildly in my face.

After originally planning to meet at a nearby Bowlo for Friday night meat raffles, (dream date), we settled on beers at his local pub. This may have been our first mistake as it was a classic ‘Cheers’ scenario, everybody knew his name…and also his wife’s. The bartender chatted away to Mr Divorcee, asking how the baby was, yadda yadda.

When I went to the bar for my round, the nosy barman asked me how I knew Mr Divorcee. “Oh, just through a friend..” I replied coyly. Mr Barman looked at me suspiciously and said slowly “Ah nice. Yeah I’ve known him and his wife for years, we all used to work together.” I thanked Mr Barman for the information and walked away feeling as flat as the beers he had poured.  I was trying to avoid the fact that my handsome date once swore “Till death do us part” but it seemed unlikely to be forgotten. This was not helped by Mr Divorcee himself.

After general chit-chat, Mr Divorcee’s situation became a reality. His phone began beeping incessantly. “Ah, that’s just the ex.” Apparently, our ‘date’ was an appropriate time to arrange custody for Christmas and New Year. Mr Divorcee then had to organise a pick up time for the little critter and also send a few cute pictures to his ex of their perfect baby. The messages continued on for the rest of the night.

At first, I felt uncomfortable and slightly miffed-Umm dude, pay me attention! I shaved above the knee for this date! I’m wearing my very uncomfortable but effective push-up bra! Will your ex always be in our lives? How long until you intoduce me to your son? Will he think I am the evil stepmother? How long do we need to wait before you can remarry?

Yes, I am that girl. If I like you, I’ve already visualised our future right down to which side of the bed you’ll have (closest to the door) However, it wasn’t long before I let it go and embraced what this date was all about-having fun and flirting with a handsome man (when he was able to put his phone down). Mr Divorcee was on a journey of his own and definitely not in a position to commit to anyone other than his child.

We left the pub, bought some beers to take back to his place, watched countless episodes of Seinfield and had the best burritos our city has to offer. Sometimes when you let go of all expectations of what a date should be, you end up having a better time and making a new friend in the process. If that new friend also happens to give you the mingle tingles, so be it.

Liv still Loveless

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